The more I think, the angrier I get. How I hate HIM!!! To dump me for a blond Poppie, half his age with probably one brain cell!!! Absurd. Unthinkable!!! Unimaginable!!!  Embarrassing!!! BUT mark my words. No one will ever have the privilege to mess with me again. Not in a million years!!! Over my dead body!!! Hanlie-war-machine-not-to-be-messed-around-ever-again is starting her new life as from today. New look, new demeanor, new fokkin alles!!! Let me get out of this bed. Sleeping time is over. It’s time for change. Big change. Complete change. Transformation!!! World, here I come. THE NEW ME!!!

Step 1: Hairdresser – opening time…. “Cut my friend!!! A very unfriendly Bob … with a fringe… eyes almost undetectable.” Good. Now the color… “No!!! Nothing about that middle age shit of blond streaks!!! I want it PITCH BLACK!!! Not dark brown. Not copper streaks. Not chili lights. ONE TONE PITCH BLACK. The effect must be unapproachable …aloof… cold…freezing if possible…”- “No, I don’t care that the blond suits me, that it makes me look younger!!! It helped me fokkol when my husband chose to leave me for a young Poppie with blond hair!!! So – PITCH FOKKIN BLACK!!!”

He did as requested…. the shock and disgust were clearly visible… “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn – Gone with the wind”

Step 2: Wardrobe – The Look – not to be found in average shops… called for assistance… Brenda… We shopped at vlooi markte… Chinese shops… garage sales…. Townships… The exotic look… the unusual, the extraordinary. Shoes… even bigger battle… Antique Shops, Second Hand Shops, Gum Tree… traveled the hemisphere in our quest for the best... Hats, belts, make-up… to complete the New-Me… To satisfy my desire for an utter and complete Transformation….

Step 3: Car – Gum Tree – HUMMER, BLACK – My lucky day!!! Appointment. “No thanks, not necessary to test drive.” Finance. Trade-in. There goes Hubby’s-birthday-present-to-sus-his-guilty-conscience-paid-for-brand-new-BMW!!! Driving off with my black HUMMER H3. Mann, I own the world!!! No one is going to mess with me again… not in this one!!! A war woman in a war tank… It suits me fine!!!

Step 4: Spreading the word – Facebook profile… Whats Up photo… Instagram… 119 comments within minutes!!! “Oh No, Hanlie turned GOTH!!!

Less flattering from family… children… phoning non-stop… “See psychiatrist!! Not necessary to change religion!!!” – “Ma, are you a Satanist now?” – “Sus, have you lost the plot? Will hypnosis help?”
“Leave me alone!!! This is the new ME. The one that won’t take shit from anybody…won’t be messed around ever again!!!”

Back to work… dressed to the T…from head to toe… Black hair, black make-up, black dress, black shoes, black belt, black handbag, black car… black … well, everything else that can be black!!!!

The grand entrance…The tea girl dropped the tray. The stoned-faced secretary gaped… The partner collided with the glass door… The article clerk fled to the safety of her office… Me?? Content, satisfied, pleased. Mission accomplished…

Practice boomed… who wouldn’t want a war-machine-don’t-take-shit-from-nobody-attorney to handle her divorce!!!!

The anger stage doesn’t last forever… but if not treated, it may continue much longer than necessary… and if so, it can drain your spirit, damage your soul… destroy your inner peace…

(to be continued –with advise on how to survive… without going insane…)

HV.